Simon says take two steps back

Picture this if you will...
Every day for the past few weeks I've been anticipating our letter of approval from Immigration to arrive in the mailbox. When that letter arrives it means we will officially be waiting to be matched with a baby. I was so hoping that letter would come before Christmas. Imagine my joy when I went to the mailbox on Thursday and there it was! A letter from The Department of Homeland Security! I did a little dance of joy on my front steps with my dog (wonder what the neighbors thought - ha ha)Immigration has approved us! Yippeee!!!

I rip open the envelope and begin to read. Suddenly I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and the wind had been knocked right out of me! It said that because we did not report in our homestudy the two arrests my husband has had we were not approved! WHAAAAATTTT THE FUUUUCKKKK!!!! My mind went racing. Had J been dishonest with me? NO! I immediately knew he would never hide anything from me. And I will go to my grave saying that (no matter what the fuck the people at the agency say to me!)
But what were these arrests???
Well here is what the government thinks and here is what really happened -

#1. J was 17,in high school and cruising around one Friday night with his buddies as all high school kids do. He was pulled over for speeding and the dumb fuck friend of his in the back seat threw a can of beer out the window. The cop saw this and had J follow him to the police station (small town so everyone knew everyone else - this included cops) They called the parents and J's dad showed up and a lecture was given. That was it! No arrest was made but apparently a report was filed and according to the gov. this means an arrest. (That, I don't understand)

#2 J was 29 (this was just two summers ago)and pulled over because a cop ran his plates while sitting at a red light and discovered that J was driving on a suspended license. Apparently in RI after three speeding tickets you lose your license for a while. A letter was sent to J to inform him of this but it was sent to our old apt. address and never forwarded (the time ran out at that point to forward) and we guess it got returned to sender but the dumbasses of RI never made the time to find J and let him know he had lost his license. They let him continue to drive around illegally. So he was caught by the police and they impounded his car and a co-worker came and picked him up from the side of the road and brought him home. Again, NEVER arrested.

My definition of arrest is (and please correct me if I'm wrong) when a police officer handcuffs you, reads you your rights, takes you to the police station in the police car, fingerprints you and holds you until bail can be made. Is this right?

Anyway - we are working to get this all straightened out right now, but what a mess!!!! I'm very upset because this puts us back about a month or two until we can even begin to wait for a match. I'm also upset because when I called our agency (only a husband and wife team run it) the husband seemed to insinuate that indeed John had been arrested and that we were lying!!!!! I told him I did not appreciate him insinuating that to me. I thought he was on OUR side! And also the fact that we did mention the suspended license thing upon the first meeting with them back in August and they sat there and told us we did not need to include traffic violations in our home study!
It's very upsetting to have an agency act this way towards a client. We will be meeting with them this week and believe you me they will get another ear full of how unhappy I am with they way HE spoke to me and that 1/2 of this is their fault!

On top of that I had the most boring weekend because I caught a cold and feel like ass. I'm still so sad about this whole situation so everything just SUCKS right now.
J tried to get me to start decorating for Christmas last night but I just was not in the mood. We did put up our little New England Village set but that still did not make me feel better. Tonight is J's company holiday party but I'm not going because I feel so icky.

What gets me is that I think about all the people out there with 'police records' having babies and not having the damn government breathing down their necks about every little thing they ever did in their lives. This frustrates me to no end and usually I'm good about it and understanding that this is what we have to do to adopt. But when something like this pops up and slows down our process I get angry and claim unfairness.

I also think that if J had just slowed his ASS down none of this would be happening!