Boston, you WERE my home!

Yesterday I had to work in Boston for the day.
I don't know if I've mentioned before but my sister owns two maternity boutiques. One in Boston and one in Providence. When J and I moved here to RI after we got married we opened the Providence location and I have been running it ever since. Yes - I have been working in a maternity boutique the entire time I have been TTC. Crazy I know! I've actually made a name for myself in New England as the crazy infertile woman who works with the fertiles on a daily basis. I know this because I've had people actually say they have 'heard of me' in support groups and through other acquaintances. It's weird because I actually like my job (the sales and the marketing of the store) but GOD do I HATE my customers sometimes. They would never know how I'm feeling though. I'm actually a very good sales person. But believe you me I've had my share a breakdowns in the back after they have left. Anyhoo - back to working in Boston yesterday.
I had to cover the Boston store because my sister (who from now on I will refer to as KT) and the manager of the Boston store were in NYC meeting with vendors. Whenever they get in a jam in Boston for coverage I am the one who fills in. I worked all day yesterday and then did a little shopping in the Pru for an outfit for a cocktail party Wednesday night (in Boston of course). Usually on my drive home I get a little depressed because I miss living in Boston and wish I still did. I lived there for 10 years (4 being college) and just loved it. I love everything about that city and once I left in 2000 I would get so sad whenever I went back (which is often).
However - while watching TV last night with J it hit me that I was happy to be home. Happy to see J and the animals and I was not sad that I did not still live in Boston. I told J this little revelation and he just smiled and nodded. It felt kind of weird to feel this way. I finally am happy where I am and with the way my life is. No more Boston 'home-sickness', no more wondering what if we lived here or there, no more what ifs. Don't get me wrong. I've been happy but I think that struggling for so long to have something that you don't seem to be allowed to have has made me always wondering what is out there that will make me feel complete. I guess everything has finally fallen into place and I feel complete. It's a very strange feeling and one that I like very much! And as for Boston - we will always share some wonderful memories but it's time to move on.

Hope and Help

The adoption process is offically underway. We have chosen an agency here in RI and had our meeting this week to go over all that is needed for the home study. J and I have started our autobiographies and getting all the necessary paperwork in order. I'm very excited but it's funny because it's not as all consuming as IVF was. I thought I would be thinking about the adoption and what I needed to do ALL the time like I did when I was going through a cycle of IVF or even just a natrual cycle. But I'm not and I'm not sure if that's good or bad. Right now I think it's good.
On another note J and I decided a couple of weeks ago to have an end-of-summer cookout this weekend. We have invited a lot of neighbors and some friends from MA. It should be fun. But in light of the Hurricane I cannot just sit by and enjoy a cookout while people have lost everything and are being sent to states far away from their homes to try and start over. So this morning I stopped by the Red Cross office in Providence and volunteered J and I to help in Middletown when the evacuees arrive. We are going to go to a training course tomorrow morning and then will help out in Middletown on Sunday. J is a Physician's Assistant so he will be very valuable. I just cannot sit on my couch and cry over the images on TV anymore. I have to help. I have to do something. Donating money is not enough for me.
I have a close friend who is from New Orleans. She grew up in the Garden District. Her parents, sister, brother and grandmother were all down there. I just spoke with her and they all got out and are living in an apartment in Baton Rouge. Their homes were not flooded but did have severe structure damage from the wind and rain. They are very lucky.
I am going to continue on my happy adoption journey and feel blessed that I can but will always be thinking of and trying to help those that have had their lives turned upside down. I can provide Hope and Help.