The butterflies are officially dancing.....

.... in my stomach! We had our final homestudy last night! I can not believe that we are actually finished with the homestudy! Almost three months ago we made the decision to adopt. Then we casually met with agencies, chose one and proceeded on with the paperwork. All the time I was very casual about the whole thing. Of course I was SO excited but casual at the same time because I did not want to have this overwhelm me like TTC to did. I was calm, cool, collected and, oh have I mentioned the word casual yet (ha ha). I was also happy because I could now look at baby things without getting angry and sad :)
Now that we are finished with the homestudy I feel we have passed a major milestone in the adoption process and I'm actually a bit shocked! As J and I dined on 15cent wings at the local pub after the social worker left last night I realized that in a few short months (give or take some) we could me matched with our child! And that's when the butterflies started doing the hokey-poky in my stomach. Weird that after three years of longing for a child and trying so, so hard to have one we are finally at a place where we know for a fact we will be parents. No waiting for that stupid pee stick to show two lines, no waiting for the dreaded phone call from the nurse with your beta results. I had butterflies on those days and those butterflies were more like moths - they made me sick. Now I have the pretty monarchs flying around in excitement and anticipation, not dread and sadness.
I know that analogy might be hard to understand and I am probably rambling right now but I'm sure there is someone out there who knows exactly what I'm talking about!
Oh and the homestudy was a piece of cake! According to the social worker J and I were a great delight and very interesting to talk to!

Just an update

It's been about a month since I last posted. Wow time is really flying by!
We have already begun our homestudy. We had the first visit last Wednesday and the second (and final) visit is tonight. I'm very excited to be reaching this milestone in our adoption process. After the homestudy we just sit back and wait. There will be a couple of more forms to fill out but the major stuff is complete. I realized the other day that maybe in a few more months we will have our match to a baby. How exciting!

J and I are so happy that things are progressing along nicely. We have been working on the house a little bit more and just enjoying each other right now. I'm not even upset about all of this rain we have been having in the Northeast. I knew it was coming anyway. With the wonderful summer and month of September we had we were bound to get hit hard with some nasty weather. See, that's my cynical side of me that I think comes from being infertile and dealing with infertility over the last three years. If you read Julie's latest blog entry you will see what I mean. She really made me think about all that J and I have gone through and how we have dealt with it. Dealing with infertility has made me a different person - some good and some bad.
I'm more cynical, jadded and bitter but I'm also stronger and more sensitive. Even though we are in the process of adopting, which I'm THRILLED about, I'm still an infertile and always will be. Inappropriate comments from fertiles still sting but are somehow a little more bearable. Maybe because I'm just use to hearing the comments and grinning and bearing it.
Anyway - Julie's blog just got me thinking.